This project will be re-worked and re-performed.
“I shamed myself
Would not hesitate to repeat
//
Meet me at my tenderest point
In desire and regret
//
The encore has begun
Let’s get ready to never forget”
Good evening. I am grateful and honoured that you are here.
‘Angels, upside down’ welcomes the hidden yous to a party of a trembling and flaring resurrection. You are encouraged to define your own values, however flaky they might be. Religious images and concepts are embedded in the work, particularly those that touch upon acceptable behaviour and modesty. The spark of our existence might lie in the simultaneity of vulnerability and hurtfulness. In this party the scars we have (caused) are celebrated, as they deserve to be greeted with humour, laughter, excitement, and glamour.
Choreography and performance: T. Veneranta
Lights: Petyr Veenstra
Sound: Robbert van Hulzen
Special thanks to: A.V., I.S., J.K., J.M., J.N., J.U., K.C.-H., K.D., K.G., ReMo (D.E. & J.M.), Stichting AnaMorphic, The Warp (L.E.), just to name a few.
Performances in Amsterdam in 2021:
8/12/2021 at the sixth group program of the Autumn Fallouts Series at The Warp, curated by Lee Ellickson
21/11/2021 at ReMo studio performance evening
5/6/2021 work-in-progress, at Encuentro I by Irene Sorozabal
In its essence, the performance is about integrating different sides of personhood; how to deal with the feelings of guilt, hurt, and shame, being anxious yet confident, wanting to hide yet wanting to be seen. Sometimes integration means to give space to those sides of us that usually do not get to be seen.
The trembling movement quality that is the signature of the piece emerged from physical memories of grief, anxiety, and panic attacks. However, being overly excited, aroused, and happy can produce similar reactions. An element of kiss and caressing are combined with trembling and struggling as symbol of acceptance and mercy; to resurrect as a new version of yourself. The coinciding death of a family member and previous experiences of loss play a role in the piece, not least by my fascination towards graveyards and gothic imagery, and this is where candles step in. The flare of the flame connects with trembling and flickering movement, and from early on I wanted this to be reflected in the lighting too. LED candles, focused lights, and shimmering clothes are used in order to make the audience and the space bathe in golden flares. It brings together something from butoh, cabaret, and religious imagery.
‘Angels’ inevitably have a connotation to religion, and again there is a connection to grayeards and loss, although I am not religious per se. It also hints at fallen angels, but ‘upside down’ refers to things being slightly out of place in a broader sense. Angel can be imagined as something holy and pure, but the main meaning is ‘a messenger’. That is what a performance is too, a messenger for emotions, expression, different worlds. The contrast between grandiosity and austerity is also delicious in many religious movements, as well as the codes of behaviour. In being hidden and seen, the questions of gender are touched upon, particularly what has been seen as acceptable for females.
Maybe the spark of our existence lies in the simultaneity of vulnerability and hurtfulness, and in the interplay of our private and public selves, feelings of shame and pride. The piece was supposed to be dark, in a small space, in silence. It turned out to be (almost over-the-top) golden, in an open space, with amplified sound. Sometimes life goes like this… Should the piece get to be performed again – I definitely hope so -, the scenography and costume will be further developed.
The poem was written in the quest of summarising some of the qualities of the performance, most prominently the feelings of shame, pride, sensuality, and playfulness. Overall, various aspects of playfulness and intimacy intrigue me in performance works. More video snippets here.